Each witness suggests a single letter:
| Witness | Statement | Explanation | Letter |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | It all happened so fast! The thief floated in like a butterfly and stung me like... IYKYK. | sting like a BEE | B |
| 2 | I think the shop owner needs to take the... just admit defeat. You got robbed, bruh. Sucks to suck. | take the L | L |
| 3 | ONG I don't know nothin'. I can tell you what I hear, I can tell you what I smell, I can tell you what I feel, heck, I can even tell you what I taste. But I can't tell you... | what I SEE | C |
| 4 | Yeah the thief came in and was like, "Put your hands up!" So I was like, "Mm, o-... sure whatever you say," and they were like, "Gimme all your pies!" So I was like "O-... yep you got it bestie." Anyway they took the pies and ran away so TBH I think I lowkey rizzed my way outta that sitch. | OK | K |
| 5 | Whatever the first guy said... go off, king. | same as Witness 1 | B |
| 6 | Sheeeesh that thief was fully dressed like a pirate. Orz to that. I bumped into them on the street and said... matey. No cap, you know how they talk? ... matey. | ARR, matey | R |
| 7 | It was that girl from that comedy show about Philadelphia! Summer in Philadelphia? Ugh, what was her name... She ate. | DEE Reynolds from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia | D |
These letters spell out BLCKBRD; expanding to the 9 letter word, as indicated in the puzzle, yields the final answer, BLACKBIRD.