If the string contains any pair of adjacent identical letters, Caesar shift the first four letters back 1; otherwise, duplicate every letter (e.g. THE would become TTHHEE).
If there are strictly more vowels than consonants, move the first consonant after the third vowel; otherwise, remove all but the letters whose positions in the word are 1 mod 4 (counting the first letter as position 1).
If possible without looping around the alphabet, Caesar shift each letter backwards by an amount equal to its position (so the first letter shifts backwards 1, etc.); otherwise, insert a copy of the first letter between every pair of adjacent consonants.
If the string contains any pair of adjacent identical letters, Caesar shift the first letter of each such pair forward half the alphabet; otherwise alphabetize the string.
If the string contains exactly one letter whose index in the alphabet (e.g. A=1, B=2) is composite, replace it by the letter whose index is the average of the indexes of the letters surrounding it; otherwise, insert an R in the fourth position.
If the length is divisible by 4, move the last quarter of the string to the front; otherwise, Caesar shift the last two letters backwards 1.
If the length is even, duplicate every letter (e.g., THE would become TTHHEE); otherwise, move the first letter to the end.
If the first letter is a vowel, Caesar shift the first two letters forward 4; otherwise, Caesar shift all consonants forward 3.
If there are strictly more consonants than vowels, reverse the whole string; otherwise, replace the third letter by GN.
If the string contains at least one O, move one O to the beginning and delete the others; otherwise, swap the first and last letters.
If the string contains a letter with Scrabble value at least 5, Caesar shift the first such letter forward 5; otherwise, Caesar shift the first letter forward half the alphabet.
If the string contains a letter with Scrabble value at least 5, Caesar shift the first such letter back 4; otherwise, Caesar shift the last letter forward half the alphabet.
If the string contains a letter with Scrabble value at least 5, Caesar shift the letter before the highest-valued Scrabble letter forward by twice the highest Scrabble value; otherwise, replace the highest-valued Scrabble letter with the English name of the letter whose position in the Greek alphabet is the same.
If there are at least two non-adjacent letters whose indexes in the alphabet (e.g. A=1, B=2) are (nontrivial) perfect powers, replace each by the letter whose index is its root; otherwise, swap the last pair of adjacent consonants.
If there is any pair of adjacent identical letters, replace the first of each such pair by L; otherwise, Caesar shift the second letter back 1.
If the first letter is a vowel, reverse the string; otherwise, Caesar shift the first and fifth letters forward 1.
If the last letter is a consonant, move it to the front; otherwise, move the first letter to the end.
If the last letter is a consonant, move it to the front; otherwise, insert an H into the fifth position.
If the last letter is a consonant, move it to the front; otherwise, move the first letter to the end.
If the last letter is a vowel, move it to the front; otherwise, replace all instances of the letter T by S.
If the last letter is a vowel, move it to the front; otherwise, Caesar shift it back by 3.
If the last letter is a vowel, Caesar shift every letter whose position is 3 mod 4 (counting the first letter as position 1) back by 3; otherwise, remove the letter before it.
If the length is at least five, remove the first four letters; otherwise, duplicate every letter (e.g., THE would become TTHHEE).
If there is a letter whose index in the alphabet (e.g. A=1, B=2) is a (nontrivial) perfect power, replace each by the letter whose index is its root; otherwise, move the last letter to the front.
If the first letter is a consonant, delete every adjacent pair consisting of one consonant and one vowel; otherwise, Caesar shift the second letter back 2.
If the length is at least six, Caesar shift the first five letters back 1; otherwise, Caesar shift the last two letters forward 8.
If the string contains a letter with Scrabble value at least 5, Caesar shift each such letter back 5; otherwise, Caesar shift the last two letters back 1.
If the string contains only letters with Scrabble value 1, Caesar shift the first letter forward 1; otherwise, Caesar shift the first letter forward 11.